The Nerdy Perv and Annoying Woman
by Togekiss the keyblade wielder
Summary: A collection Of OldRival One Shots. Ranging from Leaf's ridiculous pranks, Gary Perving it up, and love at first sight. Don't they make such a nice couple? From coming out of there mothers womb, to meeting each other, to the actual marriage and everything in between. OLDRIVAL SHIPPER FOREVER!
1. Tales of Insomnia

Tales of insomnia

3:45 AM

The Oak residence

Gary Oak at twenty five would not imagine his life as to where it is right now. Insomnia crept up on him like a ninja. Sounds of breathing and snoring could be heard all over the house, as Leaf insisted on keeping the pokemon inside the house or in the backyard. His Blastoise still had water leaking from it's pipes, making a tapping rhythm on the creaking floorboards of the house.

_Drip. Plop. Drip. Plop. Drip. Plop._

Gary sighed and rubbed his red and dried out eyes, then looked at his wife. Sleeping silently with the inhales and exhales of breathing, all in which she was doing as she clung onto her husband's arm.

_Drip. Plop. Drip. Plop. Drip. Plop._

Gary whispering to himself: How the hell did I get in such a fucked up life with you Leaf?

Of course, the name Oldrival did not come to existence by anyone, Dawn Berlitz, top coordinator of Sinnoh, made it up in highschool as she made shipping names for all her names. Poke, Ikari, Kalos, Shootsdown, and the rest of them, were made by her.

Leaf: Hmm... I will take the muffin with the banana on top of the Aipom .

Now this caught Gary's attention. Gary rose an eyebrow and stared at the woman, smiling, no, smirking while her dreams were put into dialogue for everyone to hear. Gary had no idea that his woman talked in her sleep, and Arceus knows the amount of times Gary watches Leaf while she sleeps.

Leaf: What? The Happy Meal does not come with a master ball? Where is that damn clown so I can knock the shit out of him?! Excuse me but...Red!?

Wait what?

Leaf: I though we broke up years ago...You are still into me?! This is what you get for listening to that damn Paramore song...

Gary's thoughts: WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS RED DOING IN LEAF'S DREAM! STICK YOUR DICK UP YELLOWS!

Gary: Say no Leaf, say no!

Leaf:Wait, why are you working in McDonalds...Oh wait, this isn't Mcdonalds?...Oh, in that case I will have- Wait a minute! Stop avoiding the topic!...Oh, so I am dreaming? So this is Inception?...ARCEUS! Oh my Arceus, what are you doing in my dream!

Gary: Wait, Arceus?

Leaf:...No! No! Stop it! I do not want PICKLES! Arceus is working at McDonalds- Er, whatever this fast food place is May, bring the girls down here immediately!...You're having sex with Drew? Aw, fine. I will take pictures...

Sometimes, Gary cannot tell whether or not Leaf is just talking while pretending to sleep, or she is really talking in her sleep. But wait...It hit Gary. Oh, he was going to have some fun.

Gary:Leaf...This is Gary, can you hear me?

Leaf:...Poop.

Gary:Is that a yes or a no?

Leaf:...Maybe..

Gary: Fine. What is your favorite color?

Leaf:...Don't be a dumbass Gary...

Gary:...What is your obsession?

Leaf:...You...And Cream Puffs.

Aw! How cute! Gary's grin grew even wider.

Gary: Who is better at battling, me, or Ash?

Leaf:...Me.

Gary: Who do you think would win at an eating contest, May or Ash?

Leaf:...May's Munchlax...

Gary: Do you want to build a snowman?

Leaf: Only if you're there you dumb ass.

Wait what?

Leaf's eyes shot open and she said,

Leaf: BOO LAA LAA!

And Gary jumped in terror, causing a girly squeal, and landed on his ass on the cold hard ground. Leaf sat up and laughed hard, banging her fists and feet against the bed and waking up the rest of their pokemon up from slumber.

Leaf:You actually thought that I talk in my sleep? Hell, only Cilan and Drew do that!

Gary:Ugh, annoying woman...

Leaf kissed Gary on the cheek.

Leaf:Aw, you haven't called me that in ages!

Gary: Go to bed Leaf.

Gary said as he got up and walked towards the kitchen.

Leaf:Aw, where are you going?

Gary: Filing for a divorce.

Leaf: Ok! Just as long as I get a Master Ball with my Happy Meal!

* * *

Next One Shot: Love at first sight.


	2. Eyes of a Honchkrow

Eyes of a Honchkrow

3:54 PM

Lilycove Mall

The girls sat (May, Dawn, Misty, Iris, Serena, Marina, and Zoey) in a circular table at the food court at the Lilycove Mall, right next to the Cupcakeria.

May: I CANT WAIT FOR FOOD!

Dawn whispering to Zoey: What her ish?

Zoey: She is on her period.

Dawn: Isn't this how she always is though?

Zoey: True, but you can never really tell with her.

Dawn: Ahh.

Misty: I swear to you if Leaf ran off with our orders again I _will _destroy her with my mallet.

Marina: What? Leaf ran away with your guys' orders before?

Serena: Oh right! You weren't there last time this happened, you were in Unova! We ordered this huge party platter for all of us, but Leaf "got distracted" and all the food was gone.

Iris: She probably ate it all again.

Iris sighed.

May: Damn, what a fat ass.

Marina whispering to Zoey: _She should be the one talking._

May: _EXCUSE ME?_

Marina: Nothing!

_**With Leaf at McDonalds...**_

Leaf: Ok, so the Happy Meal does not, I repeat, does not, come with a toy master ball?

McDonalds clerk: For the last time mam, the Happy Meal does not come with a toy or real master ball, great ball, poke ball, or any type of pokemon capturing device. The available toys are shown to your left at your left.

_**With the boys...**_

Ash:...No! I will take a number ten..No! No! An eight...Er...

Paul:He'll just take one of each mam.

Paul cut him off. The McDonalds clerk eyed Paul and Ash suspiciously, and filled in the order, only for the plum and raven head to yell in disgust at the price.

Drew:...Yup, Paul made Ash order one of everything again.

Gary: I bet you twenty pokedollars that Ash is going to become obese in the near future.

Kenny: Thirty pokedollars says that he won't.

Cilan: You really believe a boy like Ash would voluntarily workout to lose all that weight?

Kenny: Well, I mean he and that swimmer has a thing for each other, so she will most likely make him work out like twentyfour seven.

Cilan: True, true.

Calem: What's everyone talking about?

Kenny: Betting on Ash's future weight.

Calem: Ooh, count me in.

Jimmy: Me to!

But as the boys made their wagers, Paul and Ash were coming back to the table with a fat stack of greasy fast food, but something caught Gary's eye, and it was not the size of the food on the tiny tray. There was a girl, that showed up to Gary's Honchkrow like eyes, within the group of people that surrounded her, she was the only one that Gary's eyes could pick up on the radar. She was forming a line, all because she could not decide which Happy Meal Toy she wanted.

Gary: Something about that one...

Jimmy: Did ya say something dude?

Gary: Huh? Oh no. Um, I'll be back guys.

Gary said with a very visible smirk.

Drew:...Arceus pray to the girl who he is about to talk to.

_**With the girls**_

Dawn:...So where is Yellow anyways?

Marina: Oh, she is on this date with a guy named Red.

Dawn: Woah! If they had a ship name I would name it KetchupandMustardshipping!

Zoey: Why not Specialshipping instead?

Dawn: Eh, that would work to.

May on the phone: For the last time Brenden I am not interested!

Brenden on the phone: Well you are obviously not ready for me. Call me up when you are ok? Stay beautiful. (Hangs up.)

May: Ugh! So annoying!

Misty: How did he even get your number anyways?

May: Max probably gave it to him. Ugh, that little troll.

Iris: So did anyone finish summer homewor-

Serena: STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP THE PRESSES! IS THAT GARY OAK?!

Zoey: What! Where is he?!

Dawn: Interested Zoey?

Sawn said with a disgusted look.

Zoey: Ew! No!

Iris: You're right, Zoey likes that one chubby guy who works at the lighting in theater.

Zoey: Kenny? No! No! No!

Serena: Guys! He is flirting with Leaf!

Marina: What! We have to warn Leaf about him! She rarely pays attention to any of the guys at our school y'know. She is always like "I have to go prank Brawly because he gave me an F while I was pretending to run!"

_**With Gary and Leaf**_

Leaf:...Ok. I think-no, I know, I want the tiara for my Happy Meal Miss.

McDonalds Clerk: Finally! That will be Thirty Eight Pokedollars please.

Leaf went over to a nearby table after she paid for her and her friends orders, and sat down.

?: Hey beautiful!

A voice said to Leaf, but she however, did not notice the voice, for she had headphones in.

Gary: (Clears throat) Hey Beautiful!

Leaf: I am sorry, are you talking to me?

Leaf said as she took out her headphones.

Gary: Yeah-

Leaf: Wait a minute, aren't you Gary Oak?

Gary's thoughts: (Great, another fan girl).

Gary: Why yes I am!

Leaf: Meh, haven't heard of you. Go away before I pepper spray your face.

KWAA!? OMG EVERYONE, THIS BITCH DOESN'T KNOW WHO THE VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY HOT AND SEX GOD GARY OAK IS! CALLING ALL FAN GIRLS!

Gary: Wait what!?

Leaf: Wait, are you like some kind of movie star or something?

Gary:Well no but-

Leaf: Ok then, go away before I take off my pad and rub all my period blood all over your face.

Dawn in slow motion: Leaf...Kick his balls...

Leaf: Ok disembodied voice of Dawn!

Gary: Wait, who is Dawn?

(SMACK)

* * *

And that, is how Oldrivalshipping began.


	3. Yer full of SHIT

Yer full of SHIT

5:38 AM

The Green Residence

The girls sat in a circle comforting Leaf that night. It was cloudy and hazy outside, and rain poured in from all centers from the planet to The Green residence. Leaf sat in a ball crying her heart out, as wind rushed in from the window that slammed open. A few days ago, Gary was caught having sex with some slut at Ash's party...

Misty: Shh, Leaf, it's ok..

Iris: Yeah! Gary was such a jerk anyways.

Yellow walked in the door to see the girls comforting Leaf.

Yellow: Oh Leaf, I'm so sorry!

Leaf ran up to Yellow and hugged her blonde friend and cried softly. In the corner of the room, Leaf's phone rang and played barely audible music. Dawn picked up Leaf's phone and checked caller ID. It was Gary.

Zoey: Now isn't really the time to be texting people Dawn.

Dawn: This isn't even my phone! Leaf...It is Gary.

Leaf: IGNORE!

Dawn quickly ignored the caller and gently set down the device. Just a couple of seconds after, Serena's phone vibrated.

Serena: Calem?

Calem: Er...Hey Serena!

Zoey: Serena! Rude!

Calem: W-wait! Before you hang up, I think Leaf should hear Gary.

Serena: Why should Leaf listen to what that jerk has to say?

Calem: Please Serena, Gary is a huge hot mess right now. At least listen to what is happening to him right now..

Serena: Wait, what's wrong with Gary?

Calem: He is...well-

Gary: WOOO! Calem, buddy! You, me, let's have fun tonight! Pleeeeeease? Wait... You're wearing Green...Leaf! WOO! LEAF! Wehere is she? I miss heeeeeeer! LEEEAAFFFFFFFF I MISS YOUUOUOUUOUOU! DREW! WAS YOUR HAIR ALWAYS GREEN?

Drew: Get away from me! I am not Leaf!

Calem: Serena are you still there?

Serena: Um...

While Serena was debating or not to let Leaf know how much of a hot mess Gary was or not, Dawn received a text from Paul.

To: Troublesome

From: Paul-IE

Dawn. Can you let Leaf know how much of a hot mess is right now? He's trying to make out with Drew right now.

Dawn showed the text to Zoey, as she has received a similar text from Kenny.

May's phone vibrated, and as she picked it up, Misty and Marina picked up their phones too. Drew sent May a voicemail:

Drew: MAY! TELL LEAF TO FREAKIN APOLOGIZE TO LEAF! GARY'S TRYING TO RAPE ME!

Gary: JUST ONE KISS LEAF! PLEEEEEEASEEESESES LOVE ME AGIN!

Drew: GET YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM MY-

Operator: Voicemail deleted.

Leaf however, was too busy ranting on to Yellow about how much of a shit face Gary was to notice her friends on there phones.

May: Leaf...

Leaf: WHAT?

Iris: Maybe you should, check your phone's messages..

Leaf pushed Yellow out of her way and snagged her phone off the ground, meanwhile Yellow landed on her ass on the floor next to Zoey. Leaf checked her phone's message inbox: sixty one text messages and ten voicemails. Leaf sighed and read some of the messages:

Gary: LEAFY

Gary: ANn0yiNg WomAN.

Gary: LOVE

Gary:NeRdY pErV.

Has Leaf really broke him? Sure, it would kind of feel like an accomplishment if they were not together, but Leaf did _love _the guy. She would never admit it though.

Misty: Leaf, you don't have to get back with him. You should check to see if he is ok though.

Although Leaf did not want to admit it, the mermaid did have a point. She wiped the tears off her face and sighed. Leaf picked up her phone and dialed Gary's number.

_Ring. Ring. RIng._

Gary: Schmer...Despair picking up...

Leaf: Hey Gary...If I forgive you, do I get a Happy Meal?

* * *

Yeah, this was random...LET THE STORM RAGE ON! THE COLD NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAYS bitch. I am so sorry this was short.


	4. 50 shades of green

50 shades of green

3:48 PM

Pallet Automobiles

Gary: Remind me again why you want me to buy you a car even though you do not have a drivers license yet? And why don't you have a license yet?

Leaf: Well, the reason why I do not have a drivers license yet is because Dawn and Misty had their license, and it would be ridiculous if the rest of us got theirs because Dawn or Misty could just drive one of us. But since everyone else has theirs now, it just made sense that I get a car.

Gary: Again, you do not have your license.

Leaf: Ugh, Gare-Bare, it is _so _the rage to get a car before you obtain your license!

Gary: I don't even know anyone who does that!

Leaf: Well nice to meet you then Gary. I am the first person who will then.

Gary: Ugh! Why are we together?

Leaf: Mmmm, because you can't get enough of me!

Gary: Usually I would be the one to say that.

Leaf: You can get your ego back if you buy me this car!

Gary: Wait a minute, _I _have to buy it!?

Leaf: Oh no, you will be paying for half of it. It is also my birthday to, so...

Gary: Ugh. This is what I get for being rich and have a needy girlfriend...

Leaf: But you still love me!

Gary: Mrgrumble schlemlseer...

Leaf: What did I say about grumbling Gary?

Gary: I will just pass that gene on to our children if we ever want some...

Leaf: Exactly!

_At the Nissan dealership dealership at Pallet Town_

Gary: Ok Leafy girl, pick your poison.

Leaf: Hm...Okay, first of all, what color should I get?

Gary: I don't know. Maybe blue?

Leaf: Mmm nah.

Gary: Lavender?

Leaf: That is basically the same thing!

Gary: Hey, I am just throwing out colors here.

Leaf:Ok I got it! Grassy Green, or Evergreen green?

Gary: Well there is also Forrest green and baby barf green so...

Leaf Your right! Siri, look up shades of green please.

Siri: Calling Misty Waterflower.

Leaf:No! Search shades of green!

Siri: Looking up reviews for, _Fifty Shades of Grey_

Leaf: Siri, take a chill pill and search shades of green.

Siri: Locating a local pharmacy...

Leaf: Search shades of Green Siri!

Siri: Would you like me to schedule your doctors appointment at three thirty?

Leaf: Siri I swear to you if you don't look up shades of green I will cut ties with you.

Siri: Searching for, shiny Miltank.

Leaf: (Bleep!)

Gary: Siri, search for different shades of green please.

Siri: Ok dysfunctional bitch, Searching for shades of green.

Gary: Wait, why did Siri call me dysfunctional bitch?

Leaf: Because she learned from a very powerful woman in your life.

* * *

Originally this chapter was going to be about Leaf buying a Green Leaf at a Nissan dealership, but I was too lazy so I thought of this. Also, I apologize for not updating sooner, I lost inspiration and there was roadblocks in my life that led me to not update. I also am obsessed with Komahina from Dangan Ronpa if any of you play the game or watch the anime, so I have been indulging my Yaoi cravings of Komahina so I was sidetracked with that. Please keep in mind that I have found a new fanfiction site called archive of our own and I personally think that this sight is better that this site, so I will be updating often there under the same username despite the fact that I have no stories posted.


	5. Leaf in Wonderland

Leaf in a coma part one

In Leaf's mind

unknown time

Leaf woke up on a yellow mushroom with yellow stripes. She yawned and decided that she was on acid, and went back to sleep.

"Hey, Hey you. Wake up."

"Paul, she has a name you know!"

"Yeah? Well I don't really care right now. King Gary needs him in his castle."

"WHat! Gary is a king! I'm his girlfriend!" Leaf shot awake and opened her eyes. She saw a Piplup on a Torterra, both of them bickering on and on about nothing.

"Hey, can you to tell me where to find this supposed King Gary?" Leaf asked as she now finds out that she is wearing a bright red dress.

"Ugh, this dress could not have been green?"

"Um, well, the thing is..."

"This troublesome girl here lost our map to King Gary's castle." The Torterra said.

"Oh. Well maybe we can both get to King Gary's castle together!"

"Shit, this is going to turn into some damn story book isn't it.."

"Of course! Let's go!"


End file.
